Argus Hamilton's column for 10-18-09

BEVERLY HILLS--Happy Sunday, and how's everybody?

Michael Jackson's kids Paris, Prince and Blanket were cast in a reality series on A&E by their family. They couldn't sell the show without the children. Nobody cares if Jermaine and LaToya fly off in a weather balloon and disappear over Colorado.

L.A. Dodgers owner Frank McCourt and his wife Jamie separated Thursday. It won't be acrimonious. They own four homes in Bel Air and Malibu which they bought three years ago at the peak of the real estate boom, so at least there's no money to divide.

Columbus police detained a lady who offered to buy free stuff for everybody in a clothing store. She's being evaluated. For people like this there are only two outcomes, you either wind up in a straitjacket or you wind up in the White House.

Rush Limbaugh was dropped by a group trying to buy the St. Louis Rams Wednesday due to pressure from liberal groups. They picked him off clean. Once the dust had settled President Obama was named the winner of the Nobel Prize for Sharpshooting.

Rush Limbaugh was opposed in his bid to buy the Rams by Jesse Jackson and Al Sharpton, prompting black players to threaten to boycott the team. It wasn't a fair fight. Jackson and Sharpton have been making anti-Semitic statements for years, but if all of the Jewish football players boycotted, it wouldn't even cause a timeout.

Garth Brooks resumed his singing and songwriting career Friday after he retired nine years ago to raise his three kids. His new material should be a great success. Millions of parents will buy songs about drinking with your kids after their soccer team loses.

PGA star Anthony Kim denied reports he partied until four in the morning at the Presidents Cup. He's got to pace himself. Young hot shots like Anthony Kim always learn eventually that the sport of drinking is bigger than any one athlete.

The Chamber of Commerce launched a twenty-five million dollar ad campaign last week to sell Americans on free enterprise. The commercials aim to teach the public how jobs get created. President Obama called it the politics of personal destruction.

President Obama flew to New Orleans for four hours Thursday where he inspected hurricane damaged neighborhoods. The residents are dependent on the government for food, housing, health care and education. He said it is a model for the rest of the country.

President Obama proposed giving seniors a check for two hundred fifty dollars. They're thrilled. Half the seniors loved the idea, the other half have hearing problems and they think he's going to give them a chick for two hundred fifty dollars.

President Obama flew to San Francisco Thursday where he addressed a fundraiser despite protests. He's in a lot of trouble with the gay community for dragging his feet. Their view is if you can't execute the steps cleanly, get out of the dance troupe.

The Senate health care reform negotiations Thursday resulted in what was called the Super Bowl of Lobbying. The blood is in the water. Lawmakers were briefed that if the lobbyists got too close, just to poke them in the eyes and alert the lifeguards.

Hillary Clinton enjoyed a sixty-two percent approval rating in the Gallup Poll Thursday, making her more popular than the president. Things have changed in ten years. The last time she outpolled the president, she was swinging a real pole at him.


Copyright 2009 Argus Hamilton
All rights reserved.
Material may be quoted with attribution.

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Comedian and nationally syndicated columnist Argus Hamilton entertains at corporate events and meetings around the country. When home in Los Angeles, he can be seen live onstage at The Comedy Store in Hollywood. Contact Argus@ArgusHamilton.com for more information. Argus Hamilton's bio