Obama love child surfaces

The tabloids can stop searching for the long-rumored love child of President Barack Obama.

The Associated Press has located him. He's in the fifth grade in Selma, Indiana.

Of course, the AP didn't report that the boy is the child of the president. Everybody's off for Christmas and they won't put it together until Monday, or maybe after the first of the year.

But America Wants to Know won't make you wait. Here are the facts:

Delaware County Sheriff George Sheridan told reporters that a Selma Elementary fifth-grader was riding the bus to school on the last day before the Christmas vacation when he suddenly decided it would be a good idea to give away money. He handed out ones and fives to the other children, and his special friends got twenties.

The child gave away $300.

When the bus arrived at school, the other children went straight to the principal and the teachers and turned the kid in. They were angry that he was holding out on them.

The children complained that they only got meager little ones, fives and twenties, while the fifth-grader had ten thousand dollars in his pockets.

Of course, the money that the child was handing out belonged to somebody else.

It belonged to his grandparents.

No one is sure exactly how it could have happened, but the boy broke into his grandparents' safe and took all their cash.

Maybe Ted Sorensen wrote a speech for him.


Copyright 2009

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