Tabloid update: "Hillary promises Obama: I'll divorce Bill!"

If you don't do your own grocery shopping, don't worry, America Wants To Know is always here to update you on the supermarket tabloids.

This week's Globe talked us out of $3.49 with its headline, "World Exclusive - Hillary promises Obama: I'LL DIVORCE BILL!"

"Revealed!" the cover shouts, "Her secret deal to win Cabinet job!"

Inside, the Globe reports that the Obama team did a special background investigation on President Clinton and believes he is moments away from another major bimbo eruption.

According to the Globe's sources, the former president "cheated nonstop on Hillary while she campaigned for the White House."

"Even with sex counseling and all of the damage he's done to himself, his presidency and his image over the years," the Globe's source laments, "he always seems to be courting disaster."

Fortunately for "squeaky-clean Obama," Hillary Clinton is perfectly willing to dump the guy, the Globe's source says. "She's convinced it's time to finally pull the plug" and "she told Obama she'll file divorce papers by June of next year."

That's a cute story, but we're not buying it.

We think if anybody's filing papers, it's Bill.

You can read more of our crackpot but pretty convincing theories in "Hillary Clinton and the perfect crime."

And you can read our slightly pornographic novel about amending the Constitution (Let's see you write a book about due process of law and get anybody to read it) at www.The37thAmendment.com. Makes a great Christmas gift for people who like histories and mysteries. Much more fun than another dried-up biography of Lincoln.


Copyright 2008

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