Nancy Pelosi, car designer

When the World War II generation started buying Japanese and German cars, you knew the U.S. auto industry had officially lost everybody.

How many times did they think they could sell the same customer a car with plastic trim that falls off and paint that peels and a "planned obsolescence" lifespan of three years? How many times did they think their service managers could tell a customer bringing in a car with a problem, "They all do that."

A few more times, apparently.

Thanks to what's left of our federalist system of government, the U.S. auto industry has been able to locate enough jobs in enough key congressional districts to cobble together a coalition of passionate supporters who are backing a plan to manage the auto industry from Nancy Pelosi's office.

No kidding, she wants to manage the U.S. auto industry.

She's perfectly well qualified. Her approval rating is at least as good as theirs.

Today Speaker Pelosi issued a statement saying the House of Representatives is willing to provide taxpayer assistance to the beleaguered U.S. auto industry, as long as the automakers meet new fuel-efficiency standards, build advanced vehicles, pay their executives less, and restructure their companies "to ensure their long-term economic viability."

The long-term viability Speaker Pelosi is most concerned about is her own.

She's in a perilous position. She has to deliver for the die-hard Democratic supporters who work in the auto industry by pressing for a bailout that's ferociously unpopular with everybody who doesn't.

No wonder the Democratic leaders want to push the bill forward in a lame-duck session of Congress. As long as they can count on Republicans to block the bill in the Senate, it's a free vote for Democrats.

It's been fun to posture as the party of the workers, pretending that the first thing necessary to run a company successfully is a willingness to pay too much for labor.

It's been fun to be the party of Santa Claus, campaigning on promises of free health care and free college and free child care.

This Christmas, Santa Claus is bringing the Democrats something else.

Responsibility.

Bummer. Socks and underwear. When they were hoping for a model train set and a new puppy.

Copyright 2008

Editor's note: You might be interested in the earlier post, "The fabulous, fictional Chevrolet Volt."

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