Tabloid update: "Bush & Laura SPLIT!"

America Wants To Know was idly pushing a shopping cart around the neighborhood supermarket this evening when what should jump into it but the Globe tabloid.

Absolutely under its own power. We never touched it, we swear.

"Bush & Laura SPLIT!" the cover shouted in bold yellow letters. "Separate bedrooms - Final showdown - Now she's buying HER OWN HOUSE in Dallas."

Inside we learn that the first couple have been secretly living apart ever since the "fed-up first lady" moved out of the White House six weeks ago to escape her "boozing" husband.

"That's the biggest bombshell ever from Globe's Beltway sources," the tabloid exults.

A "well-connected insider" tells the Globe that Laura has "taken up residence on the top floor of a posh Washington, D.C., hotel and a luxury suite in Dallas." She has also spent time at the home of a "Republican financier."

The source reports that the first lady's wanderings have become "a nightmare for the Secret Service, who have to scramble to secure the next place Laura wishes to lay her head."

They really shouldn't set us up like that.

The Globe says the first lady is shopping for a house in Dallas, which is something President Bush let slip when he was speaking at a private event in Houston last month. He joked that he told Laura to "go slow" on the spending because they'd been on a government salary for fourteen years. The president gave the impression that the Dallas home was for both of them, but according to the Globe, that's not the plan.

The Globe says Laura has suspected the president of cheating on her with "his pretty secretary of state," Condoleezza Rice, but that's not what pushed her over the edge. It was "the president's drinking and verbal abuse" that did it.

According to the tabloid, the whole thing "came to a head" (really, they shouldn't set us up like that) in mid-June of this year, when the first lady told the president, "It's the bottle or me," and the president "laid into her with yet another obscenity-laced tirade." The Globe says Laura Bush stormed out of the White House and vowed that she would not be back.

Yes, the first lady was by the president's side at the Olympics opening ceremonies over the weekend, but the Globe says she's just maintaining appearances to avoid embarrassing the nation.

That's more than you can say for the president, who was photographed almost groping the bikini-clad U.S. women's volleyball team.





For some reason, Mrs. Bush wasn't with the president when he was congratulating the volleyball players on their, um, accomplishments. Maybe she'll be with him in December when he presents the Kennedy Center Honors to the cast of Donn Arden's Jubilee!.



Copyright 2008

Editor's note: You might be interested in the earlier post, "Laura Claws Boozing Bush."

.