Tabloid update: "Clinton Only 1 Year To Live!"

Just because we know you're Googling to find it, and not because we think it's worth your time, we bring you this update on the Globe tabloid's cover story, "Clinton Only 1 Year to Live!"

The Globe dug up a "life span expert" by the name of David Demko, who calculates that Bill Clinton's "lifestyle factors" will send our 61-year-old former president to "an early grave."

Mr. Demko's patented "Death Calculator" takes off a few years here and there for stress, heart disease and promiscuity, leading him to predict that President Clinton will die approximately ten years ago.

President Clinton is fine. He's not sick. He's not dying. Nothing's wrong.

As any number of retired Republican politicians can tell you, reports of his demise have been greatly exaggerated.


Copyright 2008