Sneak peek: Iowa caucus jokes from Argus Hamilton

Enjoy a sneak peek at the Iowa caucus jokes from comedian Argus Hamilton's upcoming Sunday column.

The Iowa caucuses aired worldwide via satellite Thursday. It's like musical chairs without music or chairs. People overseas have always wondered why the United States president is always an idiot, now they were able to see for themselves how it happens.

Mike Huckabee emerged from nowhere to win the Iowa caucuses Thursday. It set off a national panic. Mike Huckabee reminds everyone so much of Richard Nixon that the Watergate Hotel just hired Pinkertons to start patrolling the hallways after midnight.

Mitt Romney spent seven million dollars on ads in Iowa and still lost to Mike Huckabee. He did get the last laugh. Mike Huckabee got a congratulatory call from Jesus Christ after the vote was counted and the call came collect from Salt Lake City.

Barack Obama outpolled Hillary Clinton and John Edwards to win the Iowa caucuses Thursday. His win had a profound effect. Barack Obama got so many votes that the next day all the Republican candidates dropped Jesus and admitted to past cocaine use.

Hillary Clinton got twenty-nine percent of the vote in Iowa Thursday. She must be proud. It's the best a woman's done in one of these things since Gennifer Flowers got three hundred thousand dollars from the Enquirer during the New Hampshire primary.

Elizabeth Edwards saluted her husband onstage after he finished second in Iowa Thursday. They have prepared for Iowa since they got married. On their honeymoon night thirty years ago, Elizabeth Edwards came to bed dressed as a corn subsidy.

Democrats turned out two hundred thousand voters in Iowa Thursday while the GOP only turned out one hundred thousand. There's a massacre coming. The Republican party's only consolation is that Ronald Reagan played General Custer in Santa Fe Trail.

Copyright 2008
Argus Hamilton

Read Argus every day at www.ArgusJokes.com or www.ArgusHamilton.com/argus.htm.


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