Prediction: Giuliani-Gingrich vs. Clinton-McCain

America Wants to Know keeps a cracked team of fortune tellers, psychics and detectives on staff to help us predict the future, and so far their track record isn't too bad. They helped us predict in 2005 that the Republicans would lose control of the House and Senate, and in 2004 that Iraq would never be politically stable unless the state-owned enterprises were privatized.

They've been right about a number of other things, too, but bragging about it just makes their price go up.

Recently the cracked team has been huddled around the crystal ball, trying to foresee the 2008 election, and now, at last, they have seen the future.

The Republican ticket will be Rudy Giuliani and Newt Gingrich. The Democratic ticket will be Hillary Clinton and John McCain.

Phony crackpots, you might say, don't they know John McCain is a Republican? He can't be the vice presidential nominee on the Democratic ticket.

But you might take note that former President Clinton told ABC's George Stephanopolous today that John McCain is "very impressive," and that John McCain has passed up many chances to say something critical of Hillary Clinton. Instead, he has complimented her effusively, even though it's well known that criticizing Hillary Clinton is the way to a Republican primary voter's heart.

But what about the abortion issue, you might ask. Senator McCain is pro-life. That's not going to go over very well with Democratic voters.

Consider this: In South Carolina, where the majority of Republican primary voters are Baptists, John McCain recently announced that after a lifetime as an Episcopalian, he is now a Baptist.

If he can do that, he can certainly say "I am personally against abortion but I don't believe it's always appropriate to make it a crime."

Would Senator McCain change parties for a spot on the national ticket?

He might not expect to be re-elected in Arizona after telling the voters that he knew -- and they didn't -- what was best for the country on immigration.

But he may not have to change parties, because Hillary Clinton might be perfectly willing to have a Republican on the ticket with her. It would put a stop to charges that she's partisan and divisive. And John McCain has all those military credentials to make up for the fact that she's, you know, kind of girly to be president. (By the way, whatever happened to the black pantsuits? Fire at the dry cleaners?)

On the Republican side, our cracked team sees the future as murky for Mitt Romney, who is currently pumping more of his own money into his campaign, and foresees an avalanche of votes for Rudy Giuliani on February 5th, regardless of what happens in Iowa, New Hampshire, Nevada and South Carolina. The available Mr. Gingrich of Georgia, whose conservative credentials are 18 karat gold-plated, will be very helpful to New York City's former mayor after he wins the nomination with the votes of moderates and needs to turn out the conservatives in November.

Too many ex-wives on the same ticket?

Is Hillary Clinton going to run as the poster child for marital bliss?

Next subject.

Who's going to win?

The Republicans.

Why?

This is where we had to bring in four extra crystal balls and three more psychics. And this is what they foresee:

On health care: While everyone talks about health care reform, not everyone has the same thing in mind. That's because when average people say "something has to be done about health care," what they are really saying is "I want everything I need, I want the best, I want it promptly, and I want someone else to pay for almost all of it." Hillary Clinton will argue for a plan full of mandates that falls well short of meeting that wildly unrealistic expectation. Rudy Giuliani will easily shred Hillary's plan. He will argue for tax breaks and individual choice. Winner: nobody.

On taxes: Hillary Clinton will argue for repealing "the Bush tax cuts for the wealthiest Americans" and will propose spending the revenue on other programs. Eventually someone will do the math and realize that she is spending the same money five times. Rudy Giuliani will come out strongly in favor of lower taxes. Winner: the Republicans.

On national security: You can have an argument over who's tougher, Giuliani or Clinton, but why? Michael Vick's pit bulls wouldn't have a prayer against either one of them. Winner: nobody.

On illegal immigration and border security: The Democrats (and President Bush) have committed suicide on this issue. Winner: the Republicans.

On Iraq: Sadly, neither Giuliani nor Clinton has any idea of how to get U.S. troops out of Iraq without blowing up the world. Winner: nobody.


Copyright 2007

Editor's note: If you would like to know how the U.S. can get out of Iraq without blowing up the world, read "The Motive for War: How to End the Violence in Iraq" and "A Plan to Get Out of Iraq: Blackstone's Fundamental Rights and the Power of Property."


.

Countdown with Keith Olbermann salutes Argus Hamilton

Congratulations to comedian and columnist Argus Hamilton, whose column is distributed by our friends at ExtremeInk.com, for making Countdown with Keith Olbermann's "Best Person in the World" list last Thursday:

Number two, best gag, Columnist Argus Hamilton, of the Comedy Store, who writes in his syndicated piece today, quote, NBC news host Keith Olbermann was hospitalized in New York on Friday after his appendix ruptured. He’s a savage critic of the war. President Bush told reporters he thinks the appendix should have stayed in there and fought for another six months.

Read Argus every day at www.ArgusHamilton.com.

.

A picture of Article I

Check out this photograph from Friday's New York Times:



The picture was captioned, "Three Democratic senators, from left, Carl Levin of Michigan, Harry Reid of Nevada and Jack Reed of Rhode Island, being briefed by staff members on Wednesday on the Congressional testimony on Iraq. All three were critical of the conclusions."

The caption doesn't begin to do that photograph justice.

That is a picture staged and designed to tell you that the majority party in the United States Senate is the government.

Americans are accustomed to seeing the ruffles and flourishes of office surrounding only the president. Senators and members of Congress are typically seen at microphones in crowded hallways or standing in front of phony bookcases in a tiny television studio.

But in this photo, the Senate Democrats are seen surrounded by the ornate trappings of an historic government building. In the background you can even see painted portraits that might otherwise be hanging in a museum.

What does it mean?

It might mean the United States Senate is about to make a very serious attempt to take control of the Iraq policy, and the majority party would like to remind everyone that the 535 lawmakers on the other end of Pennsylvania Avenue are a co-equal branch of government under the U.S. Constitution.

In fact, the legislative branch is in Article I. The executive branch is in Article II.

If you read the Constitution, you might be surprised to learn that the president does not have the power to decide when the country goes to war and when it doesn't. That power belongs to the Congress. The framers thought it was unwise and unsafe to allow one man to take the nation into a war.

They were pretty bright for a bunch of guys who didn't even know how to use e-mail.


Copyright 2007

.

Tabloid update: Laura's secret divorce diary

If you don't do your own grocery shopping, don't worry -- we have all the details from this week's Globe tabloid cover story, "Bush rages over Laura's Secret Divorce Diary."

The Globe says President Bush just found out that Laura has been keeping a secret diary "documenting their White House years," and he has "hit the roof" over it.

"Insiders reveal" the president is terrified that the first lady will publish a tell-all memoir that will "destroy his legacy" (no comment) and "expose the painful truth about their turbulent marriage -- including his boozing, their ugly showdowns, and the inside story about his relationship with Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice."

By the way, did you notice that President Bush told reporters in Australia that Condoleezza Rice "can be my date" at a dinner in his honor last Wednesday night? The Associated Press picked up the quote and put it in headlines all across the United States. Do you think they're trying to tell us something?

But back to the Globe.

The tabloid says Mrs. Bush canceled out of the trip to Australia at the last moment not because of a pinched nerve in her neck, as the White House press office announced, but because she was "fed up" with the president's "rages." However, on Saturday the first lady had surgery on her neck, so we're not convinced the Globe is credible on this particular point.

More credible is the claim that "the president went absolutely ballistic when [the first lady] raised the possibility of a memoir," according to "a White House insider." The insider tells the Globe the first lady's secret journal, begun as a way to document her travels, White House galas, and cute stories about meeting heads of state, turned into "a form of therapy" as the Bush marriage "began to crumble."

Now, check this out:

Says the family source, "Laura's very tempted to see her diaries in print. George has caused her such torment over the past several years that she feels it's time to let people know what he's really like and what she's been through."

The family source? That's new. Previous Globe stories on the Bush marriage have attributed quotes to "friends" of the first lady, but now the quotes from "a White House insider" and a "family source" would seem to confirm our earlier theory that Mrs. Bush is leaking this stuff to the tabloid herself as a bargaining tactic in her unacknowledged divorce negotiations.

Just guessing, of course.

One thing we're not guessing about is how comfortable and happy President Bush and Secretary Rice both look when they're together.



What a story that would be. Condoleezza Rice, Duchess of Cornwall.


Copyright 2007

Editor's note: Catch up on your tabloid reading with the earlier posts, "Bush marital turmoil," "Laura Bush's cover story," and "All right, let's dish."

.