Solving the Barry Bonds problem: Free advice for Commissioner Bud Selig

Let's get one thing straight right at the start: the blame for the steroid corruption in baseball should be placed squarely on the players.

Most of the fault lies with the players who used the substances, but some belongs to the players, in the game and out, who knew and took no action to stop it.

It's wrong to blame the owners, because they were bound by a collective bargaining agreement that limited the actions they could take to investigate drug allegations.

It's wrong to blame the players' union officials, who just did what they were hired to do: protect the players.

It's wrong to blame the media, because journalists are limited by libel laws from reporting damaging stories unless they have evidence to back it up.

It's wrong to blame the fans. If cheering crowds put pressure on players, the players are well compensated to cope with it.

The new book Game of Shadows, by San Francisco Chronicle reporters Mark Fainaru-Wada and Lance Williams, will make it impossible for anybody to credibly deny what everybody has known for quite awhile.

What should Commissioner Bud Selig do?

Here's some free advice.

Engineer a plot to liberate the entire Cuban team right in the middle of the World Baseball Classic. Look up the CIA's old Bay of Pigs plan and make a few tweaks. See to it that the entire squad defects to the United States and signs with the New York Yankees live on the Today show.

Set off a diplomatic incident. Do what you can to keep it in the news for two or three months. Bill O'Reilly will help you.

With a little luck, Venezuela's Hugo Chavez and Bolivia's Evo Morales will join Fidel Castro in a small war against Vero Beach.

That should give you enough time to get Barry Bonds safely into retirement and then you can move on to arranging a World Series championship for my Cubs. Thanks in advance.


Copyright 2006


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