"Sneak and Peek" at Argus Hamilton's wiretapping jokes

AmericaWantstoKnow.com is pleased to leak these wiretapping jokes from comedian Argus Hamilton's Thursday column.:

Green Bay Packer Brett Favre had the worst game of his career Monday against the Baltimore Ravens defense. It wasn't his fault. Ever since Dick Cheney moved to Maryland the Ravens have been able to eavesdrop on the opposing huddle from space.

President Bush claimed the right to eavesdrop on U.S. citizens without a court order at his news briefing Monday. It caused a lot of irritation and complaint. Americans cannot understand why the Iraqis get to have a constitution and we don't.

Senate Democrats told the White House Tuesday they will demand to see all of Sam Alito's documents during the time he worked at the Justice Department. The White House was simply outraged by the demand. Is there no privacy in this country?

President Bush declared Monday his decision to spy on people without a court order was legal. Now you know why he's wearing a tuxedo to all the Christmas parties. Laura Bush has been described many ways but never until now as a Bond girl.

Dick Cheney told reporters Tuesday domestic wiretapping has kept this nation safe. He added that he believes in a robust executive authority. Then he threw his arms in the air and announced that from now on he will only be addressed as Thor.

John Kerry said Tuesday he thought President Bush offered a lame explanation for the secret wiretapping of U.S. citizens. That's about all the president needs to hear. If John Kerry says he's lame that should be good enough for a purple heart.

The FBI was discovered Tuesday to be spying on war protesters, animal rights activists and the Sierra Club. Twas ever thus. For forty years there's just been something about peace, love and tree hugging that rubs men with flat tops the wrong way.

Read Argus Hamilton's column every day at www.ArgusHamilton.com.

Copyright 2005 Argus Hamilton. Used by permission.

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