"Evacuate the Capitol! It's...it's a SUITCASE!"

We've really got to calm down.

The Department of Homeland Security just deported a man for violating the terms of his visa, or more precisely, for violating the terms of the visa waiver program. And it didn't take long, either. It was exactly five days from suspicion to expulsion.

Who is this dangerous character? What did he do?

Wen Hao Zhao, a Chinese native and an Australian citizen, arrived in Washington D.C. and stood on the west side of the Capitol Monday with his two suitcases. He just stood there. When police approached him, he wouldn't answer any questions or show identification. He said he wanted to see the president. When police inquired about his suitcases, he said they'd have to open them themselves if they wanted to know what was inside.

Well, the offices on the west side of the Capitol were evacuated and the SWAT team was called in and the man was tackled and dragged away and his suitcases were X-rayed and then blown open with a water cannon and today the guy was deported as a threat to public safety.

The luggage contained clothing and a CD player.

I mean, really.

Are we going to go on red alert every time some loopy tourist asks to see the president? You know and I know that you have to donate quite a lot of money before you can show up in Washington and see the president, but some people think the president is a regular guy who occasionally drops in at coffee shops and factories to shake hands with regular folks.

After all, the White House staff goes to a lot of trouble to make the president look accessible and in touch with the American people. Somebody watching on television might think they could come to Washington and ask to see him.

People used to visit Minneapolis and ask cab drivers where Mary Tyler Moore lived.

The Capitol police were convinced that the guy was a suicide bomber. He was dressed in black. The suitcases were black. He was sullen and silent.

They've seen too many movies.

We should all think carefully about security in Washington D.C. It's a sad thing to see the Capitol police tackle and drag a tourist away from the U.S. Capitol, the most powerful symbol of freedom in the history of civilization.

Somebody watching on television might think we're not a free country.



Copyright 2005